8 areas to explore with your client
Self- worth and Self Love
Ask the client about their self- worth, confidence and self-love. Many people suffer relationship issues because they expect to feel self-worth through their partners.
Allow the client to reflect on their ideas of self-love and what can improve it.
Relationship Needs
Allow the client to dig deep into their needs for being in a relationship. Ask about the flexible needs (that are good to have) and their non-flexible needs (must have). This will help them understand what needs are met through the relationship. This step is also important if someone is looking for a partner.
Values
The clients own values says a lot about them and their choices. Once they reflect on it, it can help them understand what kind of people they attract in their life, what triggers them and hopefully become aware of spotting their partner's values. How does their values connect to their needs in a relationship?
Relationship Goals
For a relationship to work, partners should have a mutual goal. Ask your client about the mutual goal. If they don't have, it will help them realize it is necessary and come up with one. If they do have, ask them about their personal contribution to this goal.
Personal Goals and Growth
The mail goal of being in a relationship is to help us grow emotionally by having emotional stability and by growing in other areas. Explore with the client if they have personal goals or growth plans. The support they get from their partner is also important, help them reflect on that.
Feelings and Emotions
A very basic need is to feel good about oneself in a relationship. How do they feel when they are around their partner or away from them? What kind of emotions arise when they are in conflict? What is the superseding emotion generally when they are together? How can they regulate these emotions and feel more in balance?
Impact of the relationship
To want to invest in a relationship, one should feel that it is adding value to their life. Allow the client to explore areas of positive impact the relationship have on their life. If it was mainly negative, ask them how can they improve it?
Happiness
Explore client's definition of happiness and in what ways the relationship serve that definition. Ask the client to reflect on the difference between being happy and being comfortable.
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